Entry 6: Leadership Exercise

Leadership is no stranger to me.  I am a captain on my search and rescue squad.  I also lead the Kentucky Jedi chapter.  I am study group leader of my ARMA study group.  For me this exercise is not one of reviewing a few past experiences; it is one of reviewing my current leadership roles.

Decision-making is part of being a leader and often it is simply recognizing something needs doing.  I am a practical person and I examine situations that, for some reason, people cannot seem to figure out what to do next.  A leader is someone who will see what needs to be done and does it.  If I decided to not do what it was that I did?  What if I had seen what needed to be done and not did it?  I would not be who I am today. I just don’t understand the question I suppose.  I cannot think of a time I was given the opportunity to change something, do something and I just stood idle.  If I did not make the choices a leader makes, I suppose I would be a completely different person; a follower, and very bored with life.

How did (does) it make me feel?  I like leading at times, and other times I despise it.  A leader is required to do something’s that they may not want to do.  Things that they will worry and fret over for months.  No matter what though, these things needed to be done.  It makes me feel useful to lead.  It drives me insane when people are standing around with their thumbs up their butts when there is a job to be done.  Is it they just cannot see what needs doing or is it that they see it, but are too lazy to get it done?

Every moment of leadership is a constant exercise in understanding people and how to motivate them.  The more you lead, the more effective you become.  Each time one leads, something is gained from it, whether it be public speaking, the art of delegation, conflict resolution, using peoples talents effectively etc…

Entry 5: Communication Excercises

For the sake of modesty and protection of the innocent, I will not go into specifics of the questions I asked for this exercise.  The reasons being is that they were made to my fiancée and are of a racy nature, the others were asked of my friends of the course of a night of drinking.  None of my victims knew what I was doing.  The first part of the exercise turned into a game, and the second was done over the course of a week. I feel that if people knew what you were doing, it would change the way they would act and respond.

The first part of this exercise was a lot of fun.  My friends and I went out for a night drinking, while we were there I proposed a drinking game in which we told 2 truths and a lie and if we were able to tell the lie, they would have to take a drink.  After a few rounds of this we changed the game to 2 lies and a truth.  If they guessed the truth they would take a drink.  At the beginning of the game, the lies were harder to tell.  They can more control over the little ticks that give them away.  As the game progressed so too did the noticeably of their tells.  Of course I was not exempt from the game so I am sure mine did as well.  Lies became more and more ridiculous and the truths became more and more revealing.  It was a fine evening!

The more we revealed about ourselves the more others revealed about themselves.  It is like opening a door.  In regular life we are always so guarded, this was a means of bonding and release.  Any Jedi out there who need to complete this exercise and are of drinking age, I highly recommend this as it makes everything more noticeable.

The second part of the lesson was made to my fiancée and it involved the asking of 10 open-ended questions.  I did not sit her down and grill her.  That would be uncomfortable and be like a job interview.   Instead I spread them out over a week.  Asking at dinner, in the car, on the couch etc…

The questions often were answered in a way that would bring about more questions so instead of derailing the conversation, I allowed it to evolve naturally.  I feel it is important to respond to others just as well as they respond to you.  Too often, especially when you have known someone for a long time, conversation goes out the window.  Asking questions about what is up, what their plans are, how their day was and other such things will lead you into discussions about things that are really important.  For myself, I really do not want to know the details of her day because she is a vet technician and deals with bloody animals all the time (gross).  But it is a conversation starter and leads to other things.  I just zone out for the gross parts.  Guys do that.

Otherwise this reminds me that I really do need to spend more time asking open ended questions of people; even if I don’t really care about those things because they often lead to the important conversations.  I will do this more in the future.

Entry 4: Spirituality Excercise

1.)   I have a long and convoluted religious history.  My mother is an agnostic, my father, a catholic.  I was raised in the Unitarian Church.  Come the 8^th grade, I was put into a catholic school.  I spent the next 5 years with that group.  I got 5 years of theological education in which I learned the bible and how to counteract the arguments for a theological universe.  My Sophomore year, my parents introduced me to the Jedi faith.  This lead me to explore Taoism, Buddhism and other such foreign religious beliefs. Not one to sit on his haunches, lately I have been exploring the shamanistic religion of my ancestors.  I have been attending religious ceremonies with the Asatru for the last few months.

2.)   My internal belief system, what is right and wrong, is not based out of spiritual teachings.  I am self directed.  The law is a pretty good guide.  There are rules that society must have to function, don’t kill, don’t steal, don’t cheat or lie are all necessary for people to function when around other people.  I don’t need some kind of invisible judge threatening me with eternal suffering to make me want to function with my common man.

3.)   To me, I don’t really care what happens when I die.  I have too much living to do first.  I will find out what its all about when I die.  Invisible incentives are all well and good for others, but I will live my life as a virtuous person with out fear or desire for something else when I do pass.  I have a hard time believing people may be dammed to suffering after living a life of service just because of the name of the god that they worshiped.  If that be the case, I want to hang out with them.  I don’t believe in death cults that spend their whole life getting ready to die.

4.)   I believe in a god.  I think all religions are small looks at this god.  I call it a “force”.  You could call me agnostic if you want.  I believe but don’t speculate.  An old man sitting on a cloud is WAY too restrictive to describe the ultimate mystery.  Any description of that in terms we understand, using imagery we can imagine is too restrictive.  I feel like any sort of claims that god is this and not that arrogance to the extreme.

5.)   Spiritual practices on my part are sort of lacking.  At the very most, I meditate.  Lately I have been looking into the customs and practices of Asatru.  Any sort of activity people use to commune with the force counts as a spiritual practice.  Many customs in many religious traditions exist to put people in a religious state of mind.

Entry 3: Creed Excercise – Beliefs

1.)   When something needs doing, best do it yourself.

This little gem has been the result of years of experience with people.  It’s all well and good to have people you can count on, but it’s my experience that the only person you can really count on when the chips are down is yourself.  You have something important goin on, people will tell you all sorts of encouraging things.  When the time comes that they actually need to show up and do something, they are sick, out of town, writing a paper, watching tv any number of other “unforeseen” complications.  People are flakes.  Don’t matter who.

2.)   Love like you’ve never been hurt.

I’m not going to talk about the details, and you know all about it if it’s happened to you.

3.)   You take care of you and yours.

I haven’t always been like that.  At one time I was a starry eyed dreamer.  Save the fuzzy-wuzzies and such.  I’ve seen too many people who take advantage.  Me and mine is a pretty wide group.  As people grow, they are able to help more people and they are able to more people a kindness.  It’s up to each person to decide where their sphere is and how many people it includes.

Entry 2: Personal Training – Why Jedi?

Part I: Discovering the Path

I first found the path of the jedi when I was a sophomore in highschool.  This was back in 2001.  It makes it easy to remember how many years I have been a jedi when I can just take the number of years past 2000.  I was attending a catholic highschool at the time.  Not being catholic I found myself on the outs most of the time, not having any sort of connection to the rest of the student body.  Over the summer there was an article about the jedi religion.  It was an interview with Chris Chanada, leader of old jediism.  This was my first exposure to what is now my lifestyle.  I had been a star wars fan for years, and my parents were the ones who actually showed me the article.  While most jedi do not get support from their conservative families mine were just happy that I had finally found something that made me happy.

I hung around there for a few months.  Just kind of participating as a lurker.  That was till September 11^th.  Like so many others, this was a galvanizing moment.  I realized that it is the jedi’s path to defend and protect.  I decided that wherever I was, the people around me would be safer for my presence.

It was at that time that I stepped up my training.  I earned my knighthood and while still in highschool was limited as to what I could do to help others.  I did make many friends.  Moonshadow, Jedidiah, Seito, Shaun Seifer and many others.  When Old Jediism fell, I was cast out.  Many who were created their own website.  UJ was around for a few years before it too and run its course.  It was here that I first met Angelus and others.  From there, the site became other incarnations and I became a drifter.  I did not have one page that I was able to call home.  Jedi Sanctuary, The Jediism Way, Jedi Realist Academy, Temple of the Jedi Force… on and on.  Never really staying anywhere too long.

Moonshadow was the first to come to me with the idea of offline jedi chapters.  This was exactly what I had been looking for.  I went though the process.  And eventually starting my own chapter.  Off line training is where it is at.  I continue with this.  I have also been going to jedi gatherings for years.  I was not at the first jedi gathering.  Which was held in a sort of unofficial capacity.  Meeting people that I still see around the community.  Abby and moon were at my first gathering, when there were only 5 of us there.  Things have grown considerably since.  I still have my notebook from that gathering as my “training archive”.  Jedi come and go, but I have found that people who found the path, have a hard time staying away forever.  I too return.

Part II: The Path

People have often asked the question WHAT IS A JEDI?  This is a question that I have seen bickered and argued over from the beginning of my time on the path.  I do not feel it is a question what will ever have a set answer either.  Christianity has many flavors and philosophers have tried to define what they are for a two millennium.   So too will jedi philosophers rise up and come out with outstanding explanations of what a jedi is, but it will always be a point of contention.

I feel this stems from the fact people have a hard time separating what a jedi IS from what a jedi DOES.  During my time as a jedi I have many opportunities to define what I feel is common to all jedi.

I can define the jedi faith broadly as mystical agnosticism.

The Jedi are agnostic in the sense that we do believe in a spiritual energy that is greater than us all.  We do not however know very much about this energy.  We prefer not even to name it as many religions have, we call it by the most general moniker.  That it is a “force”.  This generality opens up people from all parts of the world to embrace that which is.  Allah, God, Nirvana, Chi or the pantheon of gods are all attempts to describe that which is, but as with all human thought and speech, fallen short.

Our faith is mystical because we feel we can interact with this force.  Through out the world there are innumerous ways of communing with the force.  Prayer, meditation, though physical exertion, tribal ceremonies, dance, drugs blot… ect.  All are methods used by humans to communicate with the force.

We ask for the forces intercession on our behalf.  We offer ourselves up to the force.  We thank it for what we have received and to have its guidance in our actions.  All of these are prayers common to all parts of the world.  The Jedi are no different.  Our mystical interactions with the force both make our own desires more likely, it also guides us toward its own ends.  We are able to use and be used.

Because of this Jedi is a non-faith specific order.

More over, to be a Jedi is more than simple spiritual mindset.  The Jedi in my mind are called to service.  A modern order of knighthood if you will.  To be Jedi, is to take on a path of constant service, vigilance and action.  I do not feel like at this point the Jedi are guardians of peace and justice in the universe.  Maybe in the future this can be accomplished.  For now, the role of a knight is to serve those around them.  In the Kentucky chapter, a Jedi’s charge are those he or she finds around them.  If a Jedi finds themselves able to render service, they do so.

To this end a Jedi trains.  In order to be a useful resource to those around them, they must be legally and efficiently able to respond to any number of strange events.  To render CPR when needed, to subdue an attacker if called on, to marry those people around them when in love and to console those who have lost.

A Jedi is not there to take the place of a specialist.  They should always give respect difference to those that have dedicated themselves to a path.  Police officers, EMT’s councilors, soldiers and many others are all specialists.  A Jedi trains to respond when those specialists are not around.   Like a communities Swiss army knife, a Jedi can respond to many different things.

A Jedi serves.

Part III: The Future

I do not like to try to call where I will be a year from now or six months or even tomorrow.  I have general goals, but I really take one day at a time.  I make plans and push toward them.  In a year, as far as training goes, I wish to continue the path that I am on.  I am a captain on my search and rescue team, I want to use that new rank to make changes to the way things in KY emergency management are run.  I can accomplish this.  My online training I will take one day at a time.  If I only get though one course so be it.  I have not put a time constraint on my Jedi training.  My time constraints, which are many, are I feel not spent away from the Jedi path.  Search and Rescue, martial arts, teaching and art are all ways the Jedi path has created the person I am today.  All time spent doing those is not “lost time” or time away from being a Jedi.  I do not think there is such at thing for me anymore.  I been a Jedi so long that there is no part of my life that does not pertain to BEING Jedi.  My time online being limited, I can make no promises as to how often I can update this journal.  I can say that I am in it for the long haul.  I continued my training at ashla even after the site had shut down!

I will contribute as I can and it may be slow, but I will not stop.

Review of what I have written.

All in all, I am dedicated to my path.  Even to the point that there is no one else to walk with me.  If I walk alone, there is at least one Jedi in the world.  I have seen Jedi sites come and go.  People come and go.  I remain and I feel as more and more people remain as well, the numbers of real Jedi will grow.  One should not take the quick and easy path.  When all is taken in stride, a mountain becomes manageable.

Saddle up!

Entry 1: Force Excercise – Intuitive Type

As if this were a surprise to anyone.  I am a physical intuitive.  I work with my hands and enjoy the world around me so it only makes sense.

The exercise for a physical guy was interesting and reminded me of an old jediism meditation.  The bubble of light is much the same as the one I did previously.  What is different is the exploration of the internal.  Lately I have been suffering from chronic headaches and back pain.  In a relaxed state, I was able to get a better feel for what the roots of those pains are.  My job has been getting me down lately and I am very unhappy where I am.  The tension is caused by my anxiety over what is going on.  If I could give my pain a face it would be some kind of hybrid of those administrators that have taken away everything about the job that I enjoyed.  If I could give my back pain a name it would be the curriculum I am forced to teach.  I knew things would be required of me as a teacher, but I did not know that my entire teaching structure would be dictated to me.  I am teaching the test.

The meditation did not help ease the tension of the pain I was feeling, but it is nice to get a specific cause for what I was feeling.

Kitty in Space